Faith

Be still and know that I am God! Psalm 46:11

How hard is it to be still and know that God is God? For me, it has been hard. I constantly find myself trying to make my own path in life instead of following the plan God has for me, especially when it is a situation I want to control. Recently, I’ve been struggling with this. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to decide and pray about what to do about a situation in my life. Earlier this year, I received a clear straightforward answer that this particular situation was not meant to be. It took me awhile to pray through it and accept the plan God had for me. Finally, I was ok with God’s plan and felt like things were going the way they should be. Welll….then a couple weeks ago, things started happening. The situation starting coming up again, and weird things have been happening to me. Now, I don’t know if I’m just imagining things because I want the outcome of the situation to change so bad that I think things are happening for a reason or if the things happening are just me being paranoid. Anyone else ever experience this? I don’t know, it’s so weird! I’ve asked my friends about all these coincidences and what I’ve been told and they all think things point to a possible different outcome. Which for me, is great! I mean the possibility of a different outcome would be incredible for me. But…what does God want? What is God saying? I’ve been praying to St. Therese the past few days and still have no resolution. I know that he has the best plan for me but lately I’ve wanted nothing more than to change that plan. I want to change the outcome and make things seem like they are different than they are. But then, what if things actually are changing but what if they are not? Which brings up so many more questions.

So, as you can tell, I always overthink situations. I over analyze, freak out and just focus on this one thing that has been bugging me. It’s hard for me to let God in and pray about other things in life that are way more important. I just get so focused and thinking about this one thing that really isn’t that important in my current life. To most people, the situation is probably ridiculous. But to me, it’s something that really is important to me and is something that I place a lot of value in. At times I feel pathetic, like why do I even care anymore, or why is God still allowing this to be evident in my life? Why can’t I just let God speak to me and be still and know that he is God and in control? I think it honestly comes down to being human. We try so hard to have everything in our lives that will “make us happy”, this could be money, cars, electronics, and so on. We try to replace the need of God with the want of material and world things. I do this a lot, especially when I am suffering and am dealing with the same situation for more than a week. But maybe this is God preparing me for my future? Who knows how things will be for me, but I do know he will not give me more than I can handle so I need to take each day at a time.

I need to pray instead of worrying about what I can’t control. I need to trust God and know he is God. I also want to take the time to say that if you are like me and overthink everything, that prayer helps. It takes a lot of prayer and sitting in silence, but it helps. Everything with God takes time and patience, just like everything else in life. It is also very important to have a great support system, I talk about everything a lot with my closest friends, and I can’t thank them enough. So if you are reading this, you know who you are, I am so grateful for you the past few weeks. Thank you so much for your advice, for listening and for just being you! I can’t wait to see what the future has instore for our friendship. God makes no mistakes in who he puts in our life, this is something I need to remember more and trust that he is doing what is best for me.

God is in your midst. Zephaniah 3:17