The one who calls you is faithful. 1 Thessalonians 5:24
Hey all! It’s been awhile…about 2 months plus to be exact! Life has been so crazy lately, the Y is starting to calm down with the weather finally getting nicer and track is coming to an end. It has been quite the experience and I have enjoyed it, but I definitely miss having some time to myself!
Over the past few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about doing God’s will. I’m always struggling to know if what I am doing right now is what God wants or if I am just settling because I’m frustrated that nothing has changed and because I’m comfortable. Things in my life are comfortable, I’m at a good spot in my life with my family and friends, my work/personal life is not balanced but with my job it’s definitely hard, and my relationship with God is better than it’s been for awhile. However, I’m not sure if I’m where God wants me to be. So, I figured I’d give some insight on what I’ve been learning the past few months trying to tell the difference between the two!
So to start, I’m a person that needs signs. I ask and pray for signs from God before I make a decision. I want to know that the decision I am making is the right one, whether it’s writing a new blog, trying to get to know someone new or deciding whether to apply for a job far from home. I want some sign from above telling me I’m doing the right thing. For years I’ve wanted God to just write me a letter or give me an outright sign of what I am supposed to do with my life. Will I get married? Will I ever find exactly what I want to do? Will I ever pay off my loans? Will I ever fully be able to trust my whole life to you Lord? I literally want to know EVERYTHING. As I’ve grown up though, I’ve been getting a lot better with this. Yes I still struggle with not knowing and wanting to know answers to my questions right now, but I remind myself that God’s timing is not mine and with this I need to remind myself that my will is not his will. Which is where it gets tricky for me. How do I know I’m doing his will? I honestly think I will be happiest when I know I am fulfilling his will and vocation for me.
But….how do I get to that point? Right now, as I said, I’m comfortable but have been given some opportunities that could ultimately change my life…changes that I never saw coming but I guess that’s how God works! He always changes our lives, usually when we don’t expect it. I used to pray all the time for certain opportunities and what not but would never get answers. I would get so frustrated but would still ask God to do his will, not mine.It has taken me awhile to realize that God’s will does include suffering.
Many times I feel like I am doing something wrong because I am suffering, but Jesus suffered way more than I ever will. He died for me, he endured so much pain and suffering for me that I can suck up a season of not being sure where God wants me. I’m not gonna lie, it’s been pretty difficult at times. I’m in a season of waiting, so a lot of the times I pray to just have some clarity and I have not received any….but yet again God’s will not mine. One thing I do know, is that no matter what decision or choice I make with his help, will lead me closer to his will.
I know my suffering, wondering and unhappiness will all be nothing when his plan is revealed to me. Sometimes, we have to bloom and grow where we are planted, every aspect of your life has relevance. Right now for me it sucks. There are a lot of things I am unsure about and would love for God to walk through my door and say “Meg, this is what you should do, this is who you will marry and this is what you will do for me. Good luck and I’ll see ya in heaven bud.” But as you and I both know, that doesn’t happen, but we can get closer to him and listen for his voice during prayer.
Over this past year, I learned that prayer and time in silence is my best friend. I’ve learned more about God and myself than I’ve ever known. Sometimes it can be hard to hear God and know if the thoughts are yours and what you want to hear or God’s and what he wants you to hear. I’ve heard him, I think, but if I’m being honest, the things he has told me have not happened yet so I’m still trying to decide if that was me telling myself what I wanted to hear or him speaking to me. Guess I’ll find out one day! Anyway, prayer has helped me make many decisions and has led me to the best way to know what God wants and he wants me.
He wants my effort everyday, he wants my friendship and my frustrations. By spending time with him, he reveals his will to us and leads us to places and people we wouldn’t be able to find on our own. He has led me to so many great individuals over the past year and I am confident that no matter where he leads me in this life, he will continue to lead me to others who are on the same path as me. God has my back and no matter what choice I make, he will lead me to the places I am meant to be, but I also have to put effort in. He will give us all we need, we just have to be open and willing to put in work as well. Always remember God has your back, even if it seems that he is far away and you are in a season you do not like. He always is greater, he always has your best interest in mind. We can’t do this life alone, so how lucky are we to have a loving God who seeks us everyday.
All things came to be through him John 1:3